I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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