Will you blow on my dice?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We talked him into tasing himself.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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