so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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