You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We left the knife in your bed.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
