They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
