All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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