someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
