Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
