I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
