he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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