He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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