seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
