Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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