I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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