So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
