So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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