he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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