some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
