We're like a lot better than the average bears
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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