OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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