She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
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Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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