I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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