Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
