i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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