I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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