Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
