I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
