Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
