if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
