I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
