I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
