I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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