Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
