She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
