The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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