do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
