did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
