Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
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Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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