Me too!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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