id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
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Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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