ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dear god my vagina.
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