What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
