I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
