I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize