I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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