Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
either way he was missing a nipple.
two words: eviction party
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
