watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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