I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
