if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
