Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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