I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
