this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
