yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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